Hi Friends,
Sorry for the recent lack of updates...Thanks to the incredible generosity of our dear family friends the Sextons, we are having a healing and restful week at the beach. The Sextons offered us the use of their beautiful home near Seaside FL this past weekend. Monday morning, Claire, Jeff, and I piled the kids into the car and drove down. We have a beautiful screened porch overlooking the Gulf, the perfect pool for the children, and gorgeous white sandy beaches which had Lydie exclaiming, "Snow!"
After Jeff's parents returned to Dallas on Saturday, the Barnett house was feeling a little too quiet. Claire and Jeff were not emotionally or physically ready to get back into their regular routines this week, but at the same time a week spent just hanging around the house was not what they needed. We are so grateful to be here, the children are having a fantastic time and the water truly is theraputic.
We'll return by this weekend. I'll let everyone know when we're back.
We continue to be profoundly grateful for the well wishes, notes, messages, flowers, and all of the special things people have done...you know who you are. Please keep up the prayers, I think Claire and Jeff's re-entry to "reality" might be difficult. We talk about Baby Mac alot, and they are so thankful for the special time they got to spend with him last Thursday. Short of a miracle and his complete healing, they could not have asked for the day to go any better.
love Kathie
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
A note from Claire and Jeff
Friends,
I am not quite sure where to start this post--I guess the best way to do it is to say that there is no way that I can even attempt to be as eloquent as Kathie has been throughout her postings here, so I am not even going to try. Jeff and I felt like it was very important for us to post here ourselves so that we can thank all of the people that have helped us so much through this journey, including thanking all of you who have kept up with us this week through this amazing blog Kathie created.
We continue to grieve so deeply for Mac, but at the same time we also continue to celebrate the beautiful experience welcoming him into the world on Thursday, and also letting him go. My dad said tonight that he couldn't have scripted Thursday any better, and we couldn't agree more. We are the proud parents of a beautiful baby boy whose memory we will always cherish, and we are so glad we were able to meet him and spend the limited time we had holding and loving on him. We know he touched so many people in his short life, and are comforted by that.
While this journey has been incredibly difficult, we have focused on the silver linings we've seen. We are thankful for so many things--our marriage has never been stronger, and our families never closer. We have reconnected with old friends and made new ones. We've held Lydie a little closer each night, and I think have become better parents. Life is a little sweeter because of Mac, and we are thankful for that. Most importantly, we would not change a thing about the last 9 months and having Mac in our lives.
And how can we properly thank Kathie for all that she has done for us? She has been our rock through these incredibly difficult times, from the first dark day in April when our worlds were turned upside down, through my stay in the hospital in May, and in helping us prepare for Mac's birth and his death. When I just didn't feel up to talking to anyone, she would talk for me. When I had unimaginable phone calls to make, like to the funeral home last week, she made them for me. When we needed an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on, she was there, most of the time holding back her own emotions in order to be strong for us. When I told her I was looking for a blanket to wrap Mac in when he was born, she gave me the blanket she had already bought for him the week before. When we needed our space after Mac was born, she made sure it was given to us. When we needed to tell the nurses that we were ready for them to take Mac's body, she told them for us. When I didn't know what we would do with Mac's ashes, she gave us the sugar bowl, which is just perfect. She did all of these things, and so many more, because she loves me and Jeff, and especially because she loves Mac.
She has so accurately described our emotions and our experiences in the email updates that she sent since I first was in the hospital in May and in her amazing posts on the blog. She has brought so many of you into our lives, and we have felt your thoughts and prayers. They have lifted us up these last few months, and they will continue to do so. She has shown me what true, unconditional love is, and I have never been more grateful to have her as my sister, and I'll never be able to thank her for all that she has done. So, Kath, the best I can say is thank you.
And, finally, thank you to all of you for all you have done for us--we have been humbled by all of the love of friends and strangers alike, shown through prayers, notes, calls, meals, offers to babysit (or Bella-sit!). I would love to thank everyone by name, but that would make an already-too-long blog entry a lot longer. Suffice it to say that we are lucky people!
Thank you for being a part of our lives, and for loving baby Mac with us.
Much love,
Claire and Jeff
I am not quite sure where to start this post--I guess the best way to do it is to say that there is no way that I can even attempt to be as eloquent as Kathie has been throughout her postings here, so I am not even going to try. Jeff and I felt like it was very important for us to post here ourselves so that we can thank all of the people that have helped us so much through this journey, including thanking all of you who have kept up with us this week through this amazing blog Kathie created.
We continue to grieve so deeply for Mac, but at the same time we also continue to celebrate the beautiful experience welcoming him into the world on Thursday, and also letting him go. My dad said tonight that he couldn't have scripted Thursday any better, and we couldn't agree more. We are the proud parents of a beautiful baby boy whose memory we will always cherish, and we are so glad we were able to meet him and spend the limited time we had holding and loving on him. We know he touched so many people in his short life, and are comforted by that.
While this journey has been incredibly difficult, we have focused on the silver linings we've seen. We are thankful for so many things--our marriage has never been stronger, and our families never closer. We have reconnected with old friends and made new ones. We've held Lydie a little closer each night, and I think have become better parents. Life is a little sweeter because of Mac, and we are thankful for that. Most importantly, we would not change a thing about the last 9 months and having Mac in our lives.
And how can we properly thank Kathie for all that she has done for us? She has been our rock through these incredibly difficult times, from the first dark day in April when our worlds were turned upside down, through my stay in the hospital in May, and in helping us prepare for Mac's birth and his death. When I just didn't feel up to talking to anyone, she would talk for me. When I had unimaginable phone calls to make, like to the funeral home last week, she made them for me. When we needed an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on, she was there, most of the time holding back her own emotions in order to be strong for us. When I told her I was looking for a blanket to wrap Mac in when he was born, she gave me the blanket she had already bought for him the week before. When we needed our space after Mac was born, she made sure it was given to us. When we needed to tell the nurses that we were ready for them to take Mac's body, she told them for us. When I didn't know what we would do with Mac's ashes, she gave us the sugar bowl, which is just perfect. She did all of these things, and so many more, because she loves me and Jeff, and especially because she loves Mac.
She has so accurately described our emotions and our experiences in the email updates that she sent since I first was in the hospital in May and in her amazing posts on the blog. She has brought so many of you into our lives, and we have felt your thoughts and prayers. They have lifted us up these last few months, and they will continue to do so. She has shown me what true, unconditional love is, and I have never been more grateful to have her as my sister, and I'll never be able to thank her for all that she has done. So, Kath, the best I can say is thank you.
And, finally, thank you to all of you for all you have done for us--we have been humbled by all of the love of friends and strangers alike, shown through prayers, notes, calls, meals, offers to babysit (or Bella-sit!). I would love to thank everyone by name, but that would make an already-too-long blog entry a lot longer. Suffice it to say that we are lucky people!
Thank you for being a part of our lives, and for loving baby Mac with us.
Much love,
Claire and Jeff
Saturday Morning
If you have a moment, we would love for you to see a few other pictures that Elizabeth Smith has posted on her blog. Go to www.ebsphotography.com and click on 'view blog'.
Things are peaceful here at Claire & Jeff's. I actually slept here last night, as I couldn't bear to be in my house alone again, and I am so glad I did. Jeff is making pancakes now (or as Lydie calls them cacakes) and it just feels right here. Doug and my boys arrive home this afternoon, and I will be so, so happy to have them home.
Yesterday, when we went to sign the paperwork at the funeral home, Claire chose to stay in the car... she had given birth about 20 hours prior, and was still in her pajamas. So, Jeff and I went in and met with a wonderful woman, and wrapped everything up. At the end she said... "is the mother here? I need her to sign some of these legal papers" I said "actually, she is in the car..." thinking I would get a strange reaction from her. But, she didn't even bat an eye... she said "OK then, let's go!" and the three of us marched out to the car with the paperwork and a clipboard so that Claire could sign. What a blessing for us, that she was so accomodating, and somehow managed to act like it was the most normal thing in the world. Afterwards, Claire shared with us that she now knows what it is like, as a dog, to be left in a hot car! We all had a good laugh from the whole experience.
There is still a lot of grieving going on, but we are having more moments of thankfulness, awareness of our blessings, and joy for the everlasting peace Baby Mac is having in Heaven. As we have all said many times, he is the lucky one... he got his reward, and we are the ones left behind with our sadness. The missing of him is intense and the only 'silver lining' is the beautiful pictures that Elizabeth took, which truly captured the memories for us.
Thank you all for your calls, emails. comments here on the blog, cards, flowers, donations, and meals. We are so touched by everything you all have done, and continue to be humbled by the love and support you have shown us.
love kathie
Things are peaceful here at Claire & Jeff's. I actually slept here last night, as I couldn't bear to be in my house alone again, and I am so glad I did. Jeff is making pancakes now (or as Lydie calls them cacakes) and it just feels right here. Doug and my boys arrive home this afternoon, and I will be so, so happy to have them home.
Yesterday, when we went to sign the paperwork at the funeral home, Claire chose to stay in the car... she had given birth about 20 hours prior, and was still in her pajamas. So, Jeff and I went in and met with a wonderful woman, and wrapped everything up. At the end she said... "is the mother here? I need her to sign some of these legal papers" I said "actually, she is in the car..." thinking I would get a strange reaction from her. But, she didn't even bat an eye... she said "OK then, let's go!" and the three of us marched out to the car with the paperwork and a clipboard so that Claire could sign. What a blessing for us, that she was so accomodating, and somehow managed to act like it was the most normal thing in the world. Afterwards, Claire shared with us that she now knows what it is like, as a dog, to be left in a hot car! We all had a good laugh from the whole experience.
There is still a lot of grieving going on, but we are having more moments of thankfulness, awareness of our blessings, and joy for the everlasting peace Baby Mac is having in Heaven. As we have all said many times, he is the lucky one... he got his reward, and we are the ones left behind with our sadness. The missing of him is intense and the only 'silver lining' is the beautiful pictures that Elizabeth took, which truly captured the memories for us.
Thank you all for your calls, emails. comments here on the blog, cards, flowers, donations, and meals. We are so touched by everything you all have done, and continue to be humbled by the love and support you have shown us.
love kathie
Friday, July 25, 2008
Home
Hi Friends,
Claire and Jeff came home this morning. They are so glad to be here! All four grandparents have taken Lydie on an outing to the toy store to choose some gifts for her 2nd birthday, which is coming up. We sent them in Doug's truck, as I am sure they will bring home a truckload of goodies!
Claire, Jeff and I are going on one errand to complete the paperwork for the cremation. They are ready to get that over with. Last week while my family was at Tybee, a dear family friend who is an artist helped us with a special creation... the boys, doug and I and our friend JoJo (as my boys call her) painted a container for Baby Mac's ashes. It is actually a sugar bowl with a lid, and that is what we are all calling it... the sugar bowl. It is baby blue, with some sweet clouds on the top and pretty grasses on the bottom. All of our fingerprints are on the bottom as well and it says "we love you, baby mac".
Claire & Jeff slept very well last night and are feeling much better, both physically and emotionally, this morning.
Things are seeming a bit surreal today, after all that happened yesterday. Everyone is looking around at each other, wondering what to do next... the reality is that Lydie needs to be cared for, they need to eat, and the dog needs to be walked. Life, and all of its normalcies, are going to be good therapy for them in the coming days.
It is good to be home.
Thanks for the prayers.
love kathie
Claire and Jeff came home this morning. They are so glad to be here! All four grandparents have taken Lydie on an outing to the toy store to choose some gifts for her 2nd birthday, which is coming up. We sent them in Doug's truck, as I am sure they will bring home a truckload of goodies!
Claire, Jeff and I are going on one errand to complete the paperwork for the cremation. They are ready to get that over with. Last week while my family was at Tybee, a dear family friend who is an artist helped us with a special creation... the boys, doug and I and our friend JoJo (as my boys call her) painted a container for Baby Mac's ashes. It is actually a sugar bowl with a lid, and that is what we are all calling it... the sugar bowl. It is baby blue, with some sweet clouds on the top and pretty grasses on the bottom. All of our fingerprints are on the bottom as well and it says "we love you, baby mac".
Claire & Jeff slept very well last night and are feeling much better, both physically and emotionally, this morning.
Things are seeming a bit surreal today, after all that happened yesterday. Everyone is looking around at each other, wondering what to do next... the reality is that Lydie needs to be cared for, they need to eat, and the dog needs to be walked. Life, and all of its normalcies, are going to be good therapy for them in the coming days.
It is good to be home.
Thanks for the prayers.
love kathie
Thursday, July 24, 2008
What a Day
Hi Friends,
As you can imagine, it has been a long, long day.
But it was a beautiful day, and we are all so grateful to have had the time we had with Baby Mac. He was the most precious thing, as you can all see from the amazing picture (on the left) that was taken by Elizabeth Smith. We are so grateful to her for the time she spent with us, the compassion she showed to our family, and the love she had for Mac. Thank you, Elizabeth. We cannot wait to see the rest!
When Mac was born, it was evident very quickly that there was no question about his diagnosis. He was breathing, but it was very shallow. The neonatologist examined him briefly and then gave him right over to Claire & Jeff. His color wasn't great and the doctors indicated that his time here would be very, very short.... but he was gorgeous and he was so loved for every minute he was here.
While Mac was still with us, Vicki Franch performed a beautiful baptism ceremony. She read scripture, and had brought holy water from the church in a very pretty shell. She was emotional, she cried with all of us, but was such a comforting presence for everyone. Vicki, we are so grateful to you, words cannot express our thanks for the gift you gave us today.
I wanted to share some of what Vicki said during the baptism...
We are all so very sad. Our hearts are breaking for the loss of this precious child. The grief journey has just begun, but the initial steps have been made easier by the love & support that Claire & Jeff have gotten from our friends and family. They read every single comment on the blog today (or had it read aloud) and continue to be so appreciative for your thoughts and prayers. Please keep it up!
Thank you for sharing this day with us. The grandparents have all gone home to get some good quality sleep. Claire and Jeff have been allowed to stay in the room where they delivered Mac, which was a nice bonus. They are hopeful that they can come home in the morning and spend the weekend with family, resting & recovering.
We'll keep you all posted in the days to come.
love kathie
As you can imagine, it has been a long, long day.
But it was a beautiful day, and we are all so grateful to have had the time we had with Baby Mac. He was the most precious thing, as you can all see from the amazing picture (on the left) that was taken by Elizabeth Smith. We are so grateful to her for the time she spent with us, the compassion she showed to our family, and the love she had for Mac. Thank you, Elizabeth. We cannot wait to see the rest!
When Mac was born, it was evident very quickly that there was no question about his diagnosis. He was breathing, but it was very shallow. The neonatologist examined him briefly and then gave him right over to Claire & Jeff. His color wasn't great and the doctors indicated that his time here would be very, very short.... but he was gorgeous and he was so loved for every minute he was here.
While Mac was still with us, Vicki Franch performed a beautiful baptism ceremony. She read scripture, and had brought holy water from the church in a very pretty shell. She was emotional, she cried with all of us, but was such a comforting presence for everyone. Vicki, we are so grateful to you, words cannot express our thanks for the gift you gave us today.
I wanted to share some of what Vicki said during the baptism...
"Mac... we received you from the Lord's hands for a little while... we trust that He will receive you back from his parents' arms, heal you and make you whole, keep you safe and well until we can see you again, in the Father's House. Mac, you are a child of God. And we know that you will never know a day without being in the presence of Jesus.
Merciful God, you strengthen us by your power and wisdom. Be gracious to Jeff and Claire in their grief, and surround them with your unfailing love; that they might not be overwhelmed by their loss, but have confidence in your goodness, and courage to meet the days to come, through Jesus Christ our Lord...
Dear Lord, welcome this baby into your kingdom and hold him in your arms when his parents have to let him go. Care for him and heal him. Comfort his mother and father. Help them to grieve well for him and comfort them in ther grief. Amen..."
After the baptism, everyone got to spend some time with Baby Mac, to hold him, cuddle him, love him, and just soak in every inch of him. It was such a special time for all of us. Afterwards, Claire and Jeff had some more time with Baby Mac all to themselves. They were able to weigh & measure him (5lbs 14oz, 19 inches long!), get his hand & footprints as keepsakes, and get some more last pictures.
I cannot say enough good things about the staff here at Northside. From the nurses to the doctors to the chaplain to the Perinatal Loss staff... everyone we have seen has been so kind, patient, compassionate and supportive. They were truly prepared for anything that could have happened. When Claire & Jeff decided it was time for Mac's body to go, the nurses even had a special white wicker bassinet that they carried in to place his body in, to carry him away.
Claire and Jeff's biggest worry was that the experience would be chaotic, frantic or stressful. I am pleased to say that it was anything but that. Baby Mac was a quiet little one, and the only significant sound he made was when he was placed in his mommy's arms for the first time. As Jeff said, he sure knew that she was his mommy. They were given all of the space they needed, and were treated with complete respect for their emotional needs and privacy. Our family was provided with a private waiting room for the day, so that we could have our space too. Mac's passing was peaceful and calm, nothing was rushed and the neonatologist gave them plenty of time before he re-checked Mac's condition.
Ellen brought Lydie for a fun visit a little later in the afternoon. What a needed ray of sunshine she was! She was on cloud nine to have all of her 'people' here together. She laughed, danced, played and put a smile on everyone's faces.
We are all so very sad. Our hearts are breaking for the loss of this precious child. The grief journey has just begun, but the initial steps have been made easier by the love & support that Claire & Jeff have gotten from our friends and family. They read every single comment on the blog today (or had it read aloud) and continue to be so appreciative for your thoughts and prayers. Please keep it up!
Thank you for sharing this day with us. The grandparents have all gone home to get some good quality sleep. Claire and Jeff have been allowed to stay in the room where they delivered Mac, which was a nice bonus. They are hopeful that they can come home in the morning and spend the weekend with family, resting & recovering.
We'll keep you all posted in the days to come.
love kathie
Heaven
Baby Mac spent his entire short life here on earth being loved by his family, and now he is home in Heaven.
We are all getting to spend a little time with him, and love on his precious body.
thanks for the prayers
love kathie
We are all getting to spend a little time with him, and love on his precious body.
thanks for the prayers
love kathie
Baby Mac is here!
Mac Leland Barnett has arrived and is spending some quality time in his mommy & daddy's arms right now.
He is still living, and according to the doctor, he is taking some gasping breaths.
They are cuddling him and loving on him now, and we are all waiting patiently... its only a matter of time, though, before we are all fighting over who gets to love on him next :)
love kathie
He is still living, and according to the doctor, he is taking some gasping breaths.
They are cuddling him and loving on him now, and we are all waiting patiently... its only a matter of time, though, before we are all fighting over who gets to love on him next :)
love kathie
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