As you can imagine, it has been a long, long day.
But it was a beautiful day, and we are all so grateful to have had the time we had with Baby Mac. He was the most precious thing, as you can all see from the amazing picture (on the left) that was taken by Elizabeth Smith. We are so grateful to her for the time she spent with us, the compassion she showed to our family, and the love she had for Mac. Thank you, Elizabeth. We cannot wait to see the rest!
When Mac was born, it was evident very quickly that there was no question about his diagnosis. He was breathing, but it was very shallow. The neonatologist examined him briefly and then gave him right over to Claire & Jeff. His color wasn't great and the doctors indicated that his time here would be very, very short.... but he was gorgeous and he was so loved for every minute he was here.
While Mac was still with us, Vicki Franch performed a beautiful baptism ceremony. She read scripture, and had brought holy water from the church in a very pretty shell. She was emotional, she cried with all of us, but was such a comforting presence for everyone. Vicki, we are so grateful to you, words cannot express our thanks for the gift you gave us today.
I wanted to share some of what Vicki said during the baptism...
"Mac... we received you from the Lord's hands for a little while... we trust that He will receive you back from his parents' arms, heal you and make you whole, keep you safe and well until we can see you again, in the Father's House. Mac, you are a child of God. And we know that you will never know a day without being in the presence of Jesus.
Merciful God, you strengthen us by your power and wisdom. Be gracious to Jeff and Claire in their grief, and surround them with your unfailing love; that they might not be overwhelmed by their loss, but have confidence in your goodness, and courage to meet the days to come, through Jesus Christ our Lord...
Dear Lord, welcome this baby into your kingdom and hold him in your arms when his parents have to let him go. Care for him and heal him. Comfort his mother and father. Help them to grieve well for him and comfort them in ther grief. Amen..."
After the baptism, everyone got to spend some time with Baby Mac, to hold him, cuddle him, love him, and just soak in every inch of him. It was such a special time for all of us. Afterwards, Claire and Jeff had some more time with Baby Mac all to themselves. They were able to weigh & measure him (5lbs 14oz, 19 inches long!), get his hand & footprints as keepsakes, and get some more last pictures.
I cannot say enough good things about the staff here at Northside. From the nurses to the doctors to the chaplain to the Perinatal Loss staff... everyone we have seen has been so kind, patient, compassionate and supportive. They were truly prepared for anything that could have happened. When Claire & Jeff decided it was time for Mac's body to go, the nurses even had a special white wicker bassinet that they carried in to place his body in, to carry him away.
Claire and Jeff's biggest worry was that the experience would be chaotic, frantic or stressful. I am pleased to say that it was anything but that. Baby Mac was a quiet little one, and the only significant sound he made was when he was placed in his mommy's arms for the first time. As Jeff said, he sure knew that she was his mommy. They were given all of the space they needed, and were treated with complete respect for their emotional needs and privacy. Our family was provided with a private waiting room for the day, so that we could have our space too. Mac's passing was peaceful and calm, nothing was rushed and the neonatologist gave them plenty of time before he re-checked Mac's condition.
Ellen brought Lydie for a fun visit a little later in the afternoon. What a needed ray of sunshine she was! She was on cloud nine to have all of her 'people' here together. She laughed, danced, played and put a smile on everyone's faces.
We are all so very sad. Our hearts are breaking for the loss of this precious child. The grief journey has just begun, but the initial steps have been made easier by the love & support that Claire & Jeff have gotten from our friends and family. They read every single comment on the blog today (or had it read aloud) and continue to be so appreciative for your thoughts and prayers. Please keep it up!
Thank you for sharing this day with us. The grandparents have all gone home to get some good quality sleep. Claire and Jeff have been allowed to stay in the room where they delivered Mac, which was a nice bonus. They are hopeful that they can come home in the morning and spend the weekend with family, resting & recovering.
We'll keep you all posted in the days to come.
love kathie
