Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Beach

Hi Friends,

Sorry for the recent lack of updates...Thanks to the incredible generosity of our dear family friends the Sextons, we are having a healing and restful week at the beach. The Sextons offered us the use of their beautiful home near Seaside FL this past weekend. Monday morning, Claire, Jeff, and I piled the kids into the car and drove down. We have a beautiful screened porch overlooking the Gulf, the perfect pool for the children, and gorgeous white sandy beaches which had Lydie exclaiming, "Snow!"

After Jeff's parents returned to Dallas on Saturday, the Barnett house was feeling a little too quiet. Claire and Jeff were not emotionally or physically ready to get back into their regular routines this week, but at the same time a week spent just hanging around the house was not what they needed. We are so grateful to be here, the children are having a fantastic time and the water truly is theraputic.

We'll return by this weekend. I'll let everyone know when we're back.

We continue to be profoundly grateful for the well wishes, notes, messages, flowers, and all of the special things people have done...you know who you are. Please keep up the prayers, I think Claire and Jeff's re-entry to "reality" might be difficult. We talk about Baby Mac alot, and they are so thankful for the special time they got to spend with him last Thursday. Short of a miracle and his complete healing, they could not have asked for the day to go any better.

love Kathie

Saturday, July 26, 2008

A note from Claire and Jeff

Friends,

I am not quite sure where to start this post--I guess the best way to do it is to say that there is no way that I can even attempt to be as eloquent as Kathie has been throughout her postings here, so I am not even going to try. Jeff and I felt like it was very important for us to post here ourselves so that we can thank all of the people that have helped us so much through this journey, including thanking all of you who have kept up with us this week through this amazing blog Kathie created.

We continue to grieve so deeply for Mac, but at the same time we also continue to celebrate the beautiful experience welcoming him into the world on Thursday, and also letting him go. My dad said tonight that he couldn't have scripted Thursday any better, and we couldn't agree more. We are the proud parents of a beautiful baby boy whose memory we will always cherish, and we are so glad we were able to meet him and spend the limited time we had holding and loving on him. We know he touched so many people in his short life, and are comforted by that.

While this journey has been incredibly difficult, we have focused on the silver linings we've seen. We are thankful for so many things--our marriage has never been stronger, and our families never closer. We have reconnected with old friends and made new ones. We've held Lydie a little closer each night, and I think have become better parents. Life is a little sweeter because of Mac, and we are thankful for that. Most importantly, we would not change a thing about the last 9 months and having Mac in our lives.

And how can we properly thank Kathie for all that she has done for us? She has been our rock through these incredibly difficult times, from the first dark day in April when our worlds were turned upside down, through my stay in the hospital in May, and in helping us prepare for Mac's birth and his death. When I just didn't feel up to talking to anyone, she would talk for me. When I had unimaginable phone calls to make, like to the funeral home last week, she made them for me. When we needed an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on, she was there, most of the time holding back her own emotions in order to be strong for us. When I told her I was looking for a blanket to wrap Mac in when he was born, she gave me the blanket she had already bought for him the week before. When we needed our space after Mac was born, she made sure it was given to us. When we needed to tell the nurses that we were ready for them to take Mac's body, she told them for us. When I didn't know what we would do with Mac's ashes, she gave us the sugar bowl, which is just perfect. She did all of these things, and so many more, because she loves me and Jeff, and especially because she loves Mac.

She has so accurately described our emotions and our experiences in the email updates that she sent since I first was in the hospital in May and in her amazing posts on the blog. She has brought so many of you into our lives, and we have felt your thoughts and prayers. They have lifted us up these last few months, and they will continue to do so. She has shown me what true, unconditional love is, and I have never been more grateful to have her as my sister, and I'll never be able to thank her for all that she has done. So, Kath, the best I can say is thank you.

And, finally, thank you to all of you for all you have done for us--we have been humbled by all of the love of friends and strangers alike, shown through prayers, notes, calls, meals, offers to babysit (or Bella-sit!). I would love to thank everyone by name, but that would make an already-too-long blog entry a lot longer. Suffice it to say that we are lucky people!

Thank you for being a part of our lives, and for loving baby Mac with us.

Much love,

Claire and Jeff

Saturday Morning

If you have a moment, we would love for you to see a few other pictures that Elizabeth Smith has posted on her blog. Go to www.ebsphotography.com and click on 'view blog'.

Things are peaceful here at Claire & Jeff's. I actually slept here last night, as I couldn't bear to be in my house alone again, and I am so glad I did. Jeff is making pancakes now (or as Lydie calls them cacakes) and it just feels right here. Doug and my boys arrive home this afternoon, and I will be so, so happy to have them home.

Yesterday, when we went to sign the paperwork at the funeral home, Claire chose to stay in the car... she had given birth about 20 hours prior, and was still in her pajamas. So, Jeff and I went in and met with a wonderful woman, and wrapped everything up. At the end she said... "is the mother here? I need her to sign some of these legal papers" I said "actually, she is in the car..." thinking I would get a strange reaction from her. But, she didn't even bat an eye... she said "OK then, let's go!" and the three of us marched out to the car with the paperwork and a clipboard so that Claire could sign. What a blessing for us, that she was so accomodating, and somehow managed to act like it was the most normal thing in the world. Afterwards, Claire shared with us that she now knows what it is like, as a dog, to be left in a hot car! We all had a good laugh from the whole experience.

There is still a lot of grieving going on, but we are having more moments of thankfulness, awareness of our blessings, and joy for the everlasting peace Baby Mac is having in Heaven. As we have all said many times, he is the lucky one... he got his reward, and we are the ones left behind with our sadness. The missing of him is intense and the only 'silver lining' is the beautiful pictures that Elizabeth took, which truly captured the memories for us.

Thank you all for your calls, emails. comments here on the blog, cards, flowers, donations, and meals. We are so touched by everything you all have done, and continue to be humbled by the love and support you have shown us.

love kathie

Friday, July 25, 2008

Home

Hi Friends,

Claire and Jeff came home this morning. They are so glad to be here! All four grandparents have taken Lydie on an outing to the toy store to choose some gifts for her 2nd birthday, which is coming up. We sent them in Doug's truck, as I am sure they will bring home a truckload of goodies!

Claire, Jeff and I are going on one errand to complete the paperwork for the cremation. They are ready to get that over with. Last week while my family was at Tybee, a dear family friend who is an artist helped us with a special creation... the boys, doug and I and our friend JoJo (as my boys call her) painted a container for Baby Mac's ashes. It is actually a sugar bowl with a lid, and that is what we are all calling it... the sugar bowl. It is baby blue, with some sweet clouds on the top and pretty grasses on the bottom. All of our fingerprints are on the bottom as well and it says "we love you, baby mac".

Claire & Jeff slept very well last night and are feeling much better, both physically and emotionally, this morning.

Things are seeming a bit surreal today, after all that happened yesterday. Everyone is looking around at each other, wondering what to do next... the reality is that Lydie needs to be cared for, they need to eat, and the dog needs to be walked. Life, and all of its normalcies, are going to be good therapy for them in the coming days.

It is good to be home.

Thanks for the prayers.

love kathie

Thursday, July 24, 2008

What a Day

Hi Friends,

As you can imagine, it has been a long, long day.

But it was a beautiful day, and we are all so grateful to have had the time we had with Baby Mac. He was the most precious thing, as you can all see from the amazing picture (on the left) that was taken by Elizabeth Smith. We are so grateful to her for the time she spent with us, the compassion she showed to our family, and the love she had for Mac. Thank you, Elizabeth. We cannot wait to see the rest!

When Mac was born, it was evident very quickly that there was no question about his diagnosis. He was breathing, but it was very shallow. The neonatologist examined him briefly and then gave him right over to Claire & Jeff. His color wasn't great and the doctors indicated that his time here would be very, very short.... but he was gorgeous and he was so loved for every minute he was here.

While Mac was still with us, Vicki Franch performed a beautiful baptism ceremony. She read scripture, and had brought holy water from the church in a very pretty shell. She was emotional, she cried with all of us, but was such a comforting presence for everyone. Vicki, we are so grateful to you, words cannot express our thanks for the gift you gave us today.

I wanted to share some of what Vicki said during the baptism...

"Mac... we received you from the Lord's hands for a little while... we trust that He will receive you back from his parents' arms, heal you and make you whole, keep you safe and well until we can see you again, in the Father's House. Mac, you are a child of God. And we know that you will never know a day without being in the presence of Jesus.
Merciful God, you strengthen us by your power and wisdom. Be gracious to Jeff and Claire in their grief, and surround them with your unfailing love; that they might not be overwhelmed by their loss, but have confidence in your goodness, and courage to meet the days to come, through Jesus Christ our Lord...
Dear Lord, welcome this baby into your kingdom and hold him in your arms when his parents have to let him go. Care for him and heal him. Comfort his mother and father. Help them to grieve well for him and comfort them in ther grief. Amen..."
After the baptism, everyone got to spend some time with Baby Mac, to hold him, cuddle him, love him, and just soak in every inch of him. It was such a special time for all of us. Afterwards, Claire and Jeff had some more time with Baby Mac all to themselves. They were able to weigh & measure him (5lbs 14oz, 19 inches long!), get his hand & footprints as keepsakes, and get some more last pictures.
I cannot say enough good things about the staff here at Northside. From the nurses to the doctors to the chaplain to the Perinatal Loss staff... everyone we have seen has been so kind, patient, compassionate and supportive. They were truly prepared for anything that could have happened. When Claire & Jeff decided it was time for Mac's body to go, the nurses even had a special white wicker bassinet that they carried in to place his body in, to carry him away.
Claire and Jeff's biggest worry was that the experience would be chaotic, frantic or stressful. I am pleased to say that it was anything but that. Baby Mac was a quiet little one, and the only significant sound he made was when he was placed in his mommy's arms for the first time. As Jeff said, he sure knew that she was his mommy. They were given all of the space they needed, and were treated with complete respect for their emotional needs and privacy. Our family was provided with a private waiting room for the day, so that we could have our space too. Mac's passing was peaceful and calm, nothing was rushed and the neonatologist gave them plenty of time before he re-checked Mac's condition.
Ellen brought Lydie for a fun visit a little later in the afternoon. What a needed ray of sunshine she was! She was on cloud nine to have all of her 'people' here together. She laughed, danced, played and put a smile on everyone's faces.

We are all so very sad. Our hearts are breaking for the loss of this precious child. The grief journey has just begun, but the initial steps have been made easier by the love & support that Claire & Jeff have gotten from our friends and family. They read every single comment on the blog today (or had it read aloud) and continue to be so appreciative for your thoughts and prayers. Please keep it up!

Thank you for sharing this day with us. The grandparents have all gone home to get some good quality sleep. Claire and Jeff have been allowed to stay in the room where they delivered Mac, which was a nice bonus. They are hopeful that they can come home in the morning and spend the weekend with family, resting & recovering.

We'll keep you all posted in the days to come.

love kathie

Heaven

Baby Mac spent his entire short life here on earth being loved by his family, and now he is home in Heaven.

We are all getting to spend a little time with him, and love on his precious body.

thanks for the prayers

love kathie

Baby Mac is here!

Mac Leland Barnett has arrived and is spending some quality time in his mommy & daddy's arms right now.

He is still living, and according to the doctor, he is taking some gasping breaths.

They are cuddling him and loving on him now, and we are all waiting patiently... its only a matter of time, though, before we are all fighting over who gets to love on him next :)

love kathie

Thursday 12:30

Hi Friends,

The doctor is in with Claire & Jeff now, so we are hoping it won't be long. Thanks for the prayers and the comments, I will let you know as soon as this precious child joins us here!

love kathie

Thursday, 11am

Hi everyone,

Claire is 9cm, so they are going to give her about another hour and then check her again. Elizabeth is going to head over soon to be ready to take pictures. Vicki Franch (their minister) is with her now, as emotions are running high around here.

It is just hard to believe that it is really here. We appreciate all your prayers, and Claire & Jeff have been asking me to check the blog and read the comments aloud to them :)

Thanks everyone
love kathie

Thursday Morning

Good Morning,

Things are moving along over here. Claire had some back labor pains and was having significant contractions around 4am, so she has her epidural and is much more comfortable now. She is dilated 4cm, and the doctors are pleased with her progress.

I'll keep posting throughout the day.

Love kathie

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Wednesday Night

Friends,
Claire & Jeff are checked in and settled at Northside. They had a relaxing afternoon at home with Lydie, and were able to have their nightime family routine and put Lydie to bed before they left. They were thrilled when Jeff's parents Jim & Jackie and his brother Jason arrived from Dallas and Charlotte. Everyone got to spend some happy time with Lydie, which of course brightened the day considerably. I flew in this afternoon, and I think they are comforted that everyone is here.

I am at the hospital with them now, and they are relaxed and as ready as they can be. Everyone here has been so compassionate and thoughtful. They love their nurse, and the hospital chaplain came by a little while ago to present them with a special keepsake box... it is fabric covered, and includes items such as a blue baby blanket, a sweet frame, a blue teddy bear for Baby Mac, and a pink one for Lydie.

There is a special card on the outside of their room door to indicate that a loss is expected, to prevent nurses/staff from saying anything inappropriate inadvertently. The Perinatal Loss Office has truly thought of everything.

They are hoping for a good nights sleep, to get ready for what is sure to be a long day tomorrow.
So, so many people have asked how they can help, or what they can do for Claire, Jeff & Lydie. One thing that they have said would be meaningful would be a donation in Baby Mac's honor to the organizations that have been so helpful to them during this time. They are:

The Northside Perinatal Loss Office: you can donate online or to the address listed on the site
www.atlantapnl.com

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep: you can donate online or to the address listed on the site
www.NILMDTS.com

Peachtree Presbyterian Church
www.peachtreepres.org

Send donations to:
Peachtree Presbyterian Church
Attn: Business Office
In Honor Of Mac Leland Barnett
3434 Roswell Road NW
Atlanta, GA 30305

Again, words cannot express how much we appreciate the love, support & prayers that you all have offered. Claire & Jeff have especially liked seeing the comments on the site, and we will have access to those tomorrow throughout the day. Comments are a wonderful way to send a thoughtful message without the need for an immediate reply from them.

I'll update throughout the day tomorrow. Please keep up the prayers.

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you;
He will never leave you nor forsake you.
Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
Deuteronomy 31:8
Love kathie

Monday, July 21, 2008

This Week...

Friends,

Thank you for visiting the blog that we have set up for the Barnett Family. We were having some trouble sending out email updates to so many people, so this was the solution we came up with to keep everyone up to date this week. You can see, in the blog history, the email updates that were sent out in the beginning of this journey, when we first learned of the baby's diagnosis.

Claire is scheduled to be admitted to Northside hospital Wednesday evening, July 23. They are expecting their baby boy, Mac Leland Barnett, to be born some time on Thursday July 24.

We have all been waiting over 10 awful weeks for this day, and for so long it seemed impossibly far away. Now, I think we are wondering if we are ready. Claire & Jeff have done everything they can to prepare for Baby Mac's birth... they have had all of their final appointments, confirmed the baby's diagnosis (severly underdeveloped lungs & failed kidneys), met with their minister at Peachtree Presbyterian, arranged for family members to come into town, they have talked with our photographer Elizabeth Smith (who also works for www.NILMDTS.com) about being at the hospital to capture the experience on film... what they can do, they have done.

We are appreciative beyond word for all of the prayers, thoughts, cards, letters, meals & gifts... everything that you all have done has made a difference to Claire, Jeff & Lydie and to our families.

I will post on Thursday and do my best to keep everyone updated throughout the day. If you need anything, or have a question, please contact me rather than Claire and Jeff. My email address is kathiechipman@yahoo.com

Thanks for the prayers
Love Kathie

July 2 Email Update

Dear Friends,

Claire, Jeff & Lydie enjoyed a great family vacation last week in St. Simon's with Jeff's parents, brother & sister-in-law Jason & Becky, and their six year old twins, Anna & Drew. They were grateful, again, for the chance to escape reality and spend quality time with family at the beach.

They met with both their perinatologist & obgyn on Monday. Again, both doctors expressed surprise that Baby Boy Barnett is still with us. I guess they are really expecting that a cord injury is going to take him before he is born, but I think this baby has other plans :)

Claire will be induced when she is about 36 weeks along, and we now have a tentative date for that. She will be admitted to the hospital the week of July 21, probably on that Wednesday night (the 23rd), starting a pitocin drip the next morning.

She has an extensive & detailed birth plan that was created with the Neonatal Loss staff at Northside, and they will also be meeting with the neonatologist once more, before the birth, to get a better understanding of what they can expect to happen once the baby is born.

I wanted to share with you a blog that has really touched our family. The Smith family, while pregnant with their fourth daughter, got just about the same news that Claire & Jeff have gotten about their baby boy. Angie & Todd (who sings for the Christian group Selah) have documented their experience in this blog, and shared their deepest emotions regarding every step of this journey- from the day they got the news that something was "wrong" with their child in January, to the day Audrey Caroline was born & died in April of this year.

Claire and I sat at my computer the night this blog was shared with us, sobbing together as we read. Angie's unwavering Christian faith in light of this unbearable sadness is amazing. Take a moment and visit their blog- I think it is the very best way to try and understand what Claire & Jeff are experiencing, and will experience. And, thank you again, Kristine, for sharing this with us.

www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com

This is the song that the Smith family, and the band Selah, wrote for their beautiful daughter Audrey Caroline. You can listen to it on their blog.

I Will Carry You

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?
People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

So I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One Who's chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says...
I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One
Who's chosen Me
To carry you

Blessings to you all, and thank you for your continued prayers.
love kathie

June 18 Email Update

Friends,

Thank you all for your patience in waiting for this update. There have been no changes in Claire's health, or the baby's health, so she is still waiting to get to the 36 week mark. At that point, her doctors can induce labor and have all of the necessary team members available for the baby's birth.

Our family had the most wonderful vacation that we have ever had two weeks ago in Hilton Head. All of us, but especially Claire and Jeff, appreciated the opportunity to get away from reality and just have a "normal" week with our family. We have some wonderful memories from the trip and it was an amazingly happy and peaceful time for all of us. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers- they continue to lift us up.

Rather than try to summarize Claire & Jeff's report from their meeting with their perinatologist yesterday, I am (with her permission) copying her information below. I think it helps some people to have the details, in the process of trying to understand what is happening with the baby. Here is Claire's report from yesterday...

"I just wanted to let you all know that we met with our perinatologist this morning; he was wonderful to us, as usual, and confirmed (to the extent that he could) a few things to us about thebaby. There is still no fluid around the baby, and he believes thatthere is no kidney function at all. He said with at least 10% kidneyfunction, we would at least see some fluid, and there is clearly none at all. Also, the kidneys have cysts on them, which indicate damage aswell. He told us the lungs also look smaller thanthey normally should at this point, which makes him believe that thelungs are underdeveloped. Normally, this would be bad news, obviously,but in our situation, it means there may be a more merciful end for thebaby and that we might not have to wait until the kidney damage takes him. He indicated that he was somewhat surprised that there had not beena cord injury at this point-he said he would have fully expected it tooccur in the three weeks since we've seen him last. He also said thatthe possibility of cord injury increases as the baby grows (and he iscontinuing to grow, right on track, according to the ultrasound measurements); however, both Jeff and I feel like the cord injury is not likely-this little guyis putting up quite a fight. So, with the compromised lungs and alsowhat they believe to be no kidney function, he said that itwould be a matter of when, not if, the baby will pass away. He thinksthat if the lungs are truly compromised, it will be very quick, but ifjust the kidneys are compromised, it will most likely be a matter ofdays-not hours and not weeks. So, we are hopeful that God will bemerciful and swift with our little one; in any event, he confirmed that neither of these failures (lung or kidney) would bepainful for the baby or result in a large struggle, which gives us a lotof comfort.We will meet with him for one final ultrasound in a few weeks,just so we can make sure nothing has changed and that we are as preparedas we can be for the birth. "

Your continued prayers are so appreciated. Specifically, we are all hoping for a peaceful birth of this precious baby, and regardless of how his life unfolds- whether it be minutes, hours or days that he is here with us- that he not have to suffer for even a moment. Claire and Jeff's medical "team" has assured them that any and all necessary steps will be taken to ensure the baby's comfort; however, they understandably have lingering anxiety over this possibility.

I read somewhere recently that this experience- of losing a child so soon after birth- can be described as "preparing simultaneously for the joys of the birth of your child, and the undescribable goodbyes of death... learning to let your child go, while also holding on as tightly as possible to their memory... in a word, devastating".

Thank you for your love and support.
love kathie

May 27 Email Update

Friends,

I've had lots of questions about how Claire & Jeff are doing, so I thought I'd send out a quick update.

They had their appointment with the perinatologist this morning, and that sweet baby boy is still growing and strong. The kidneys, though, are still not functioning at all. Basically then, no change in the baby's health.

I've had lots of people ask how the baby can survive with damaged lungs and kidneys that are not functioning... and the answer is that he really doesn't need either lungs or kidneys to survive in utero. It sounds crazy, but the kidney's main function in utero is to process fluid, which turns into amniotic fluid. The amniotic fluid is what allows the lungs to develop normally; he is not producing amniotic fluid, hence the lung issues. [Any doctors reading this, please disregard that kindergarten-level interpretation :) ]

Claire & Jeff were able to see the baby on the ultrasound this morning, so it was obviously an emotional time for them.

The doctor is encouraging them to come with us to Hilton Head, for our annual family vacation with Goggy & Pop (our parents). He said he thought that would be the best thing for them at this time, to get away and enjoy time with family. He does not expect that Claire is going to go into labor anytime soon. If there were to be a change regarding the baby, she would know it, as she has been feeling his strong kicks pretty constantly.

Between the perinatologist and the ob/gyn, they will prepare a letter and a medical report for her to bring with her, in the unlikely event that she would need to go to any hospital other than Northside.

Thank you for your continued prayers and thoughts. We are so appreciative of everything-meals, cards, calls, etc.- that you all have done for Claire, Jeff and Lydie during this hard time.

Thanks
Kathie

P.S. Lots of people have asked about the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Foundation... if you are interested, the website is www.NILMDTS.com but I will warn you, it is a difficult thing to see. For me, it made the experience that Claire & Jeff are having much more 'real'. It is a wonderful support for families experiencing the loss of their baby.
hasEML = false;

May 19 Email Update (evening)

Friends,

After an incredibly long and emotional day, Claire, Jeff and I are all home.

Claire's team of doctors, including the perinatologist, neonatologist, pediatric nephrologist, and obgyn all came to the same conclusion. The baby's kidneys have totally failed. In addition, the baby's lung development is behind (due to the initial lack of fluid before the blockage was found at 20 weeks), and cannot catch up... baby's lungs need amniotic fluid and the pressure that it creates to continue to develop. No man-made fluid can mimic that pressure, which is so crucial. So, the situation with the lungs can only get worse, not better.

With two major organ groups in such dire conditions, the baby just cannot survive outside of the womb.

The horrific conclusion, then, is that Claire & Jeff are in a holding pattern. They will be visiting the obgyn and perinatologist, each once weekly to check vitals. One of two things will happen. Either the baby will die in utero, and Claire will be induced to deliver him, OR Claire will eventually go into labor on her own and he will arrive but not be able to survive for any period of time.

No heroics, no extraordinary measures to sustain the inevitable. They will meet with the Northside Hospital Neonatal Loss Committee to develop a guide for any unknowing doctors and nurses who may encounter them when they come back for delivery. The purpose of that plan is to keep an unbearable situation from getting any worse.

Their minister, Vicki Harrington French, came to visit today and prayed with us. She prayed for God's guidance and wisdom in this hard time, and for God to take care of the baby- either here with us, or with Him in Heaven. She reminded Claire that sometimes the most loving thing we can do is to let someone go.

The next few weeks are going to be incredibly hard for Claire & Jeff. I am glad that, at least, they are together with Lydie and Bella (their dog) at home. The two of them have handled this situation with such grace, courage and faith- I am so proud of them, and only hope that they feel everyone's prayers, thoughts and support each & every day.

Please keep up the prayers, and continue to lift them up. And, thank you to each of you, for your kind words and offers of help throughout this difficult time.

Love
kathie

May 19 Email Update (morning)

Hi Friends,

Sorry for the delay in sharing this news. Claire and Jeff got some bad news this morning at their ultrasound. It appears from the ultrasound that the baby's kidneys are not functioning at all.

They are fairly calm, and waiting to meet with both a neonatologist and a pediatric nephrologist (kidney specialist, sorry if I spelled that wrong).

They are hoping to get some clarity on the situation from these specialists, and with another meeting with their perinatologists.

Please keep up the prayers, they need them now more than ever.

thanks
kathie

May 18 Email Update

Hi Friends!

I believe it is fair to say that your prayers are working! There are no enormous changes with Claire or the baby, but today the sun just seemed to come out :)

Last night was the best night they have had... only two episodes of the baby's heart decel-ing (I think that is what the nurses call it), when the heartrate drops suddenly for any length of time. Apparently this happens when the baby puts any pressure on his cord; since there is no amniotic fluid to absorb the pressure, it causes the baby to react suddenly. The previous nights had been much worse, and therefore very stressful for everyone.

Claire is still in the High Risk Labor & Delivery Unit. She has been told that unless the decels stop, she will not be downgraded to the "more civilized" High Risk Pregnancy Unit upstairs. I think we are all quite comfortable with this... she has a wonderful team of ob/gyn's, perinatologists & neonatologists making decisions regarding their care, and we certainly trust their experienced & thoughtful decisions.

There has been some concern voiced over the state of the baby's kidneys. Tomorrow morning, at 7:30am, Claire will have an ultrasound in her perinatologist's office (downstairs in the hospital- they will wheel her down there in her bed!) and they will hopefully have a more clear picture of what is going on with the kidneys then. They hope to see continued growth of the baby, more mature lungs, etc. They are understandably a little anxious about this appointment.

Today, Claire got her IV out, as she is done with the IV antibiotics. That was a wonderful thing- one less thing for the children to trip over :) Lydie was able to visit both days this weekend, and I smuggled my boys in twice today. They were thrilled to see their Aunt Claire, and happy to watch Scooby Doo movies while we chatted.

Please say a prayer for great results from the ultrasound in the morning. I will keep everyone posted on that. Also, she has really enjoyed the notes, calls, thoughts & prayers that everyone has been sending- thank you, thank you, thank you. Regardless of how you look at it, it must be extremely difficult to lay in a hospital bed for any length of time, but especially so under such emotional conditions.

Keep up the thoughts & prayers, they are enormously appreciated!

Love Kathie

Welcome

May 15 Email Update

Hi Friends,

I would like to ask you all to say a prayer for my sister Claire. As most (or all) of you know, she has been having a very difficult time with her pregnancy. Today she was admitted to the Northside High Risk Labor & Delivery unit, for the duration of her pregnancy.

To summarize, at her regular 20 week ultrasound, the doctors found a blockage in the baby's ureter. This caused the bladder and kidneys to suffer some damage, but the specialists were able to perform a miraculous procedure during which they inserted a shunt into the baby's bladder, so that his bladder could drain directly into the amniotic sack. Claire had a number of amnio's during that time, and the procedure itself involved several amnio-type needles, placing her at higher risk for complications.

There is a good chance that the baby will have some level of kidney damage, but the details won't be know until he is born. He also has some minor clubbing of his feet, due to the fact that he was "all scrunched up in there" with so little fluid for some time. And, yes, that is the technical term for it!

She has been monitored at least once a week since then. The baby (boy!) has looked great, and the shunt has continued to function perfectly, to the doctor's delight.

On Monday, at her regular check-up with the perinatologist, they discovered that her amniotic fluid was low... she went in this morning for a re-check, and was admitted to the hospital when they found that there was almost no amniotic fluid at all.

She will be in the hospital for the rest of the pregnancy, which is of course where she belongs, and where she is getting top-notch care. She is on IV antibiotics to combat the possibility of infection, and will be allowed to leave her bed for only short moments each day.

Tonight, while my mother and I had gone to get her some yummy dinner (her hospital option was beef stew) she had a scare with the baby's heartbeat dropping quite low. The nurses were able to position her to get the heartrate back up again, but warned her that if that were to happen again and last any longer at all, she would be rushed to a c-section within minutes. It, of course, scared her quite a bit.

She is 25 weeks and two days right now... the "magic" number we keep hearing is that they want her to get to 28 weeks, at which the survival rate jumps to almost 90%. But, we are thankful for every day that her sweet baby boy can grow and get stronger inside of her.

Claire has an enormous support system, but even some of the strongest women & friends that I know- who have gone through a similar situation- have struggled. Her little girl, Lydie, is almost 22 months now. With any luck, she will stabilize and be able to have Lydie visit on a regular basis.

Also, one of my dear friend's little sisters is her nurse tonight! That was a wonderful surprise and such a comfort to us all as we left her, with all of us in emotional upheaval. (Thanks, Ya!)

Please take a moment tonight to say a prayer for her, and send a happy thought her way. And be thankful for your family, and your health- something we all take for granted way too often :)

Love to you all,
Kathie